It’s been years in the dreaming and the time has finally come. I’m taking my show on the road and combining my work, with mobility and some fantastic skiing this year. Here’s a link to a tentative map of Walkabout 2013… if I’m going to be near you I’d love to meet up!
View Walkabout 2012/13 in a larger map
Something occurred to me today as I was posting my zillionth ‘consciousnes- raising’ diatribe about the genesis of our economic woes.
I was in huge resistance.
Now, it wasn’t the first time I noticed this. I’m very aware that resistance is futile, not just because of the Star Treck Borg Episode, mostly because of Jung who was probably the first to enunciate the now popular meme: “What you resist, persists”. The more you push against something the deeper entrenched it tends to become. Don’t believe me? Try telling your two year old not to do something, worse, try telling your teenager.
And then I started engaging in the inevitable argument with myself (I never said I was GOOD at not resisting) It goes like this.
Self 1 “But if I don’t speak up nothing will change.”
Self 2 “But you ARE speaking up and nothing is changing.”
Self 1 “Good point, but what am I supposed to do… nothing? If you’re not part of the solution…”
Self 2 “….You’re part of the problem. Ya, I know. But nature doesn’t exclude. It adds.”
Self 1 “What? Where did that come from? Prove it.”
Self 2 “I have no idea, I read it somewhere. Do you really want me to prove it or shall we just follow it?”
Self 1 “okay, add what? “
Ding (that’s the sound of a mutual light bulb going off- possibly also the sound of divine intervention)
Self 1&2 “We need a fund that operates the way we think the economy should. A big social experiment in zero growth economics an UN-BANK a wealth re-distribution system that operates INSIDE this disgustingly corrupt current system. An infiltration. A Trojan horse. People donate to the fund, it pays off debts. People promise to pay it back but at no further cost to them. Then we just do it over and over and over again. Recyling money. And cutting the bottom feeders out of the loop.”
Self 1&2 “Wow. Ridiculously Utopian. But, so was microfinance. Crazy enough to work? We might be on to something here… if it was completely transparent….”
Generally when myself agrees with myself something happens. Even if it’s just the birth of the incredible-clingon-idea, of another dream that won’t go away. So I’ve been thinking about it for hours now. Maybe it’s a dream. But –hey, I’m the Dreamstepper right?
I’m just coming off of an amazing summer. I built a home, with help from about 160 (mostly women) volunteers, with Habitat for Humanity. You can see it here and donate to the worthy cause here. It was an incredible experience that I’m sure I’ll be referring to often and it was a really, really, really busy summer and early autumn.
I’m back to my regular coaching, speaking and training routine and I have to say, I LOVE the expansiveness of the time and space available to me. This week it’s about to get even more pronounced as I have been expecting to travel with a friend of mine, who may have to cancel at the last minute. So I’m faced with an entire, unscheduled week.
Have you ever experienced that? Truly? An entire week with nothing planned. No vacation, no people to see? Places to go? Things to do? Is anyone horrified? I’m not! I’m revelling. Delighted. Joyful. It’s like, THE BEST birthday present EVER! I’m sure I’ll hear some standard condolences as people are sad for my lost opportunity to visit the sunny south, but truly folks, It’s Okay! And here’s why… You can’t really cut yourself loose to dream if you never cut yourself loose. Creativity requires a vacuume. A little hollowness to reverse the constant cramming we’re engaged in. Cram in more work, more errands, more to dos, more maintenance, more exercise, more food, it can feel endless! A little down time is in order. Time to ask yourself; “Now, right now, what do I want? What interests me? What intrigues me?” Having the time to ask the question is delicious in itself. That really doesn’t take all that long and please, add it to your daily practices. But then to have an expanse of free time to follow the urge? How does it get any better than that? Isn’t it weird that we work like fiends for 50 years hoping to do that for a couple of years in retirement? Why do we DO it that way? You can’t ever get to true, delicious enjoyment or through that to the reflection necessary for authentic dreaming if you don’t stop doing.
I highly recommend it. Plan for it if empty space doesn’t spontaneously appear in your calendar like it occasionally does in mine, do whatever it takes and make SURE it happens. If you need a structure for it. look for the launch of Dreamstepping as a program oh, probably at the end of this delicious week of non-doing!
Your dreams are worth it.
We all have a memory of how we first learned about the birds and the bees. As parents of young children we all live in some level of fear about the inevitable “TALK”. It’s time to relax about the whole thing. As Julia Sweeney so brilliantly illustrates, this is going to make a fantastic story in 10 years even if it goes on for what seems and eternity and goes horribly wrong in the end.
I’ll let her tell the story!
So, I admit to watching a couple Charlie Sheen interviews and spoofs over the last couple of days. And I’ve laughed, and tsk-tsk-ed and shaken my head. but on second consideration I’m wondering why we’re all stunned, shocked, amused or sad for the guy?
It shouldn’t be remotley stunning, shocking, funny or sad that Charlie is riding this particular ride. What’s amazing, given our current culture is that most of us are NOT.
I got in the car to drive my daughter to a cheerleading competition today and in the drive over (40 minutes including the 10 we spent driving in circles) I heard Nicleback reminding us for the millionth time that:
…. we all just wanna be big rockstars
Livin’ in hilltop houses driving fifteen cars
The girls come easy and the drugs come cheap
We’ll all stay skinny cause we just won’t eat
And we’ll hang out in the coolest bars
In the VIP with the movie stars
Every good gold digger’s
Gonna wind up there
Every Playboy bunny
with her bleach blonde hair
And we’ll hide out in the private rooms
With the latest dictionary
in today’s who’s who
We’ll get you anything
with that evil smile
Everybody’s got a
drug dealer on speed dial
well..
Hey hey I wanna be a rockstar
I’m gonna sing those songs
that offend the censors
Gonna pop my pills
from a Pez dispenser
Get washed-up singers writing all my songs
Lip sync ’em every night so I don’t get ’em wrong
And then not 10 minutes later Ricky J just had to tell us about his wonderful life:
oh-oh what a night
i’m feelin’ fly
we got the party started and we goin’ over-time
we at the bar, we doin’ shots, shots
we with these girls
you know they hot, hot
oh-oh what a night
you got your hands up high
we gonna party like it nineteen n-n- ninety nine
we at the bar, we doin’ shots, shots
we with these girls
you know they hot, hot, hot…
So, we’re pumping our kids (and ourselves apparently – I knew all the words) full of the idea that their heros spend their lives getting high and getting laid, we laugh along with Charlie playing himself on Two and A Half Men – and admit it, you like Charlie way more than his goofy nerd brother what’s his name. One of my daughter’s favourite shows is watching a housefull of mentally pre-pubescent adults drink them selves stupid every evening on ‘Jersey Shore’ with the sole life purpose of obtaining tight abs, clean clothes and fake tans so as to up their chances of hooking up at the aptly named club “Karma”.
And we have the extreem hypocracy to diss Charlie sheen for unapologetically adopting this very lifestyle with all the resources at his disposal (resources we handed him delightedly for being exactly who he is may I remind you) And then we shake our heads in wonder that he doesn’t feel BAD, TERRIBLE, GUILTY for doing so.
Come on people.
Which ones of us are more messed up here? We all know there’s actually something rather compelling about Chuck. Here’s what I think it is. He’s unapologetic. He’s made his choice he takes full responsibility for it and he doesn’t give two flying hoots what the rest of us think about it. We keep sending him money and fame so why should he? Charlie Sheen, you have to admit it, is living life at full permission. It may not be a life I choose for myself. Mostly because I make up that I enjoy the rush of a full speed downhill run in command of my senses more than I’d enjoy banging one of Charlie’s 8 gram rocks. But what do I know? I’ve never banged an 8 gram rock.
He’s living at full permission, guilt free. Now maybe his ability to do that is a little drug induced but you know what? We’re all a little jealous.
Now, I’m not advocating going on a drug and porn-star-filled tear. (Unless that is your true sole ambition in life) but what I AM advocating is that we take a page from Charlie’s book of no-apology. How many of us have dreams we’re not allowing ourselves to dream? How many of us are allowing our true, full, self expression to be constrained by guilt and fear of judgement or fear of failure or fear of being judged for failing or Gawd only knows what else. How many of us have hopes and aspirations that might even be valuable to others, to our culture, to our world and we’re immobalized because we won’t allow ourselves to live at full permission?
That’s how to admire Charlie Sheen. Come on out of the shadows, we’ve all got a little tiger blood!
Just the other day I was loving how clearly the Dreamstepping process outlines where and how we get stuck when stepping into our dreams. I do love that. Except when I don’t. What I noticed today while reflecting was that I’ve had a recurring ‘to do’ item on my list since the new year and though I know exactly what transition is involved I’m discovering a particularly insidious strategy that my ol’ buddy fear is using to stall me.
Yeah, it was step one on one heck of a Doozy of a new years resolution.
Deep Breath:
For ages I’ve had the Dream to redevelop a piece of rental property I bought years ago. It’s been a ‘back burner’ dream the kind that I keep quietly simmering in the back of my mind and don’t really ever talk about except perhaps to my closest friends. (And then only with loads of protestations that it’s waaaaaay in the future, still in the ‘someday maybe’ category) Have you noticed that before? That transitioning out of dream-mode and into talking about your dream like it could actually happen is one of the scariest transitions out there? Well, that’s where I’ve been for about 4 weeks now. I know what the step is, I know who I need to talk to I even have the numbers written on a stickie right by my phone but somehow, the days just slip away.
Tricky Fear. Very tricky.
So here’s what I’ve noticed. This feels like a really, really big dream. Worse, it seems complicated, certainly way bigger than I can accomplish without help and worse still I decidedly do not have all the resources I need to complete the projcet. These are all really great ‘rationalizations’ that fear is using to great effect to stop me from picking up the darn phone.
So, here are the fear soothing transition strategies I’ll put to work:
Good strategies all. I’ll let you know how I make out. And if any of those strategies work for you, or spark ideas of your own, let me know!
I’m encouraged to take my heart seriously. I’ve got girls, two of them and what I want for them, more than anything, is that they are happy. You’re a parent, you know what I mean. And what I know for sure is that kids learn what they live. Doesn’t matter how much lecturing I do, or nagging, or demanding, or pleading or bribing. I turn around one day and the darn kids are doing something I absolutely KNOW they learned only from watching me.
Can’t think of a better reason to inquire deeply into my heart, uncover all those dreams and make sure I start living them. Now. Today. The kids are watching.
Whenever I get stuck I can pin point it to one of the six transitions and I know exactly how to get out of the rut. Today was one of those non stop doing days, I found myself after the 10th errand feeling like I was spinning my wheels and with a vague sense of having missed something. It wasn’t feeling good. When I realized I was stuck in act mode I took a few minutes to consciously tap into enjoy and looked back on my day with a pride of accomplishment. It didn’t take long to lift my mood and slide from there into reflection. When you reflect from a place of appreciation and enjoyment you think far, far more clearly (seriously, there’s biology behind this!) and I was able to pinpoint the thing I’d missed and took care of it quickly. Why do I love dreamstepping? A clear path out of just about every rut!
I’m a skier. (Have I mentioned that? ) And I’m really fortunate in that I get to schedule the odd week day off and enjoy a day on the hill. There are a lot of life and leadership lessons to be had on a ski hill one of them was made very clear to me today. The importance of taking time for maintenance. Right after lunch today I took off into changed weather. It had been damp in the morning but it was colder now and started to snow. As I took the first post-lunch run I discovered that the skis I’d been on that morning without any ill effects were complaining that they hadn’t been tuned up in far too long. The first run down was a lurching, grabbing, sticking, thigh burning nightmare as the unwaxed bases tried and failed to slide smoothly on the snow.
At the end of the run I was exhausted. Legs burning from compensating for the uneven jerky progress of the skis.
Nothing for it but an emergency pitstop at the tune up shop.
40 minutes of missed fresh snow later the turns were again effortless and I was back to loving my favourite sport.
Life’s like that too, as you make progress toward your dreams if you don’t take time to tune your equipment with regular replenishing maintenance you’re going to run into changing conditions you just can’t navigate because you’re plain worn out. Some of your essential actions need to be taking care of you!
What are your self care routines? I know I’ll be taking time out to wax my bases so I can slide through the sticky spots from now on! And it’s a wonderful reminder that my own practices, meditation, writing, exercise, time with friends, long hot showers, (and the odd day off for skiing!) are an essential, not to be missed part of making progress.